Hawaii

Nothing is the same. We’ve had to rethink everything we do — not just how we do medicine but each diagnosis. We treat every patient as if they have COVID-19. The disease has such a broad presentation and there is so much unknown, we take it day by day and we are very flexible. Our team is close. There are days you know that it could have been a lot worse and you’re thankful for having a great team. There are also times when you can look at another team member and know that they’re thinking, ‘I got you,’ and there will be days when I will do the same for them. That’s the best part of us.

We’re doing some different tasks that we didn’t do before the COVID-19 pandemic. When the hospital ran out of wipes and hand sanitizer, we helped Environmental Services make more with approved disinfectant. Our staff transports COVID-19 patients in the hospital. In the beginning it was scary and unsettling, but they care about the patients and make sure they are comfortable and not being rushed. Our unit-based team is fairly new, but the staff has been key to speaking up and improving workflows. My advice to other managers is to listen to your staff and hear what they have to say.

I find the ‘normal’ conversations I have with patients and co-workers that don’t involve COVID-19 are what bring me joy. Something as simple as hearing about someone’s family or their pet renews me and makes everything feel better. I was pretty terrified when we first started swabbing patients. We’re a lot less tense now. The first thing I do when I get home after work is shower. I haven’t been able to see my elderly father with dementia for weeks, and he does not understand why. It’s been incredibly difficult, and I miss him terribly. Our nurses support each other. Sometimes we have mini-meltdowns when someone has a bad day, but we’re there for each other.

I have learned that as a leader I have to reassure my staff and, at the same time, show them that I am just as vulnerable and concerned as they are — but if we all do our part, we will get through it. In our daily huddles we check on each other and ask about family. We talk about the information that’s coming at us in the news and social media, and we talk about what strategies are rolling out and why. After a while it does wear on you, so it’s important to lighten up and do something fun. We are here as a family and here to support each other.

There was a lot of anxiety when we had our first COVID-19 patient. As days go on, and we have more and more patients, staff has accepted the reality that this is our new normal. We huddle on every shift, and I share the most up-to-date information I have. There are a lot of changes, so we’re constantly adapting and flexing to follow new procedures and recommendations. I draw strength from my staff, and we support each other. I also remind staff to take care of themselves. We all need to get rest, eat healthy and exercise. If you feel like you need more support, reach out to EAP. Everyone still has fears — that does not go away. I’m scared, but I’m also really proud of my staff.

Sometimes it can get extremely emotional and physically draining, seeing our sick patients and our tired staff. Our patients have become our family, especially if their family cannot be here in the hospital with them. The toll of the situation can sometimes be hard to manage. I wasn’t taking care of myself. A fast, pounding heart rate and blurry vision were some of the symptoms that hit me while I was driving to work. I was able to get help and see a doctor, who diagnosed my anxiety attack and prescribed rest and fluids. I was also dehydrated. Now I’m taking care of myself first — because if we get sick who will take care of our patients?